4.

Me- "Gaius, I'm going to turn you into a pretzel."

Gaius- "You can't do that because you're not magic....but you do have magic in your heart."

3.

"I don't like hand fertilizer, it stings when it gets in scratches on your hands"- Xavier while wiping his hands on a wipe, not using hand SANITIZER!

2.

Leia and Xavier (in tag-team fashion)- "Gaius! You have to be a Christian to get to heaven....don't you want to go to heaven someday? Don't ya? Don't ya?..." (etc.)

Gaius *while looking at me like a deer in headlights*- "I don't want to be a Christian. I want to be a Mama's boy."

1.

While I was in the depths of sleep deprive-ery (?) with my first baby. I had this dream in which I cut off my son's hand at the wrist with a pair of scissors. Of course I woke up immediately and felt like a terrible, horrible mother. But, it was only a dream, and no child was harmed in the making of it.